Realizations

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When did you first realize you were overweight? Has it been your whole life, or a more recent change?
When I was 13 I got my period, and I also got hips and thighs and a butt. There wasn’t one isolated moment, I just started to notice over time that I didn’t look the same as my friends and I wasn’t treated the same. I was buying size 10 and 12 jeans- the same size my mom wore. I was also tall (I’m 5 foot 9), and so this just exacerbated the difference between myself and the small diminutive girls who were most popular.
I remember going to middle school dances, and having a good time, but standing on the sideline during the slow songs. Now of course, this may also be because I was smart, opinionated, and a little odd even then- but I knew I was ridiculed for how I looked and this played in to my “social status”.
When I started high school I earned a nickname “bubble butt” for how my butt looked in my spandex volleyball shorts. Now being the people pleaser I am, I just rolled this in to my personality and laughed it off. But it still hurts to be made fun of for how you look. I’m sad to say that at times, I could be just as cruel to others- caught up in the machinations of the high school girl hierarchy. How much better we could have been if we were just accepting of each other! I wish I could have told my younger self that nothing I thought mattered did, and to let it go and just live life.
Even though I was obese, I did not let it define me. I have realized that I am so many things, and my weight is only one part of what makes me, me. I am a doctor, wife, mother of furry children, friend, daughter, sister… I am a person I am proud of, regardless of my weight. Becoming healthier and losing weight has not changed who I am, but it has let me be the best version of myself.

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