Binge Eating

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What is binging? No not the Netflix kind where you are unmoved for an entire day watching 13 Reasons Why, but food binging. To binge is to compulsively eat a large amount of food and then feel shame or guilt afterwards.
Now we’ve all done that right? Holidays, parties, special occasions all deserve a good binge. But when does it get to be a problem? I have been a binger all my life. And unfortunately I even meet the clinical criteria for binge eating disorder, from DSM V:
The key diagnostic features of BED are:
1. Recurrent and persistent episodes of binge eating
2. Binge eating episodes are associated with three (or more) of the following:
* Eating much more rapidly than normal
* Eating until feeling uncomfortably full
* Eating large amounts of food when not feeling physically hungry
* Eating alone because of being embarrassed by how much one is eating
* Feeling disgusted with oneself, depressed, or very guilty after overeating
3. Marked distress regarding binge eating
4. Absence of regular compensatory behaviors (such as purging).
Um yeah, definitely me. When I was younger I used to buy big bulk amounts of candy and hide it in my room. Then I would eat the whole bag and hide the wrappers in the bottom of the trash bin. Now back then I was crazy athletic, so my weight was pretty controlled, but over the years that binge eating pattern has been a constant. And when you take exercise of the equation, the pounds just pile on.
What bothers me the most about binging is the completely sick feeling I get after. Not just physically, but emotionally. In my darkest times I have cried and called myself disgusting. And I still feel this way when I binge… why aren’t I strong enough to control myself? It makes me so angry that after all these years I can still engage in binging.
But guess what- I am flawed. We all have our personal demons and this is one of mine. I can say that with time and hard work, I am binging less and less. I may never be binge-free, but I am not going to let it control my life anymore!!!

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